Why?
by Sophie Temrer Rimmer-Artley
Summary: Random little one-shot I wrote, inspired by the fic 'Stop' by Feline Ranger. Lister ponders... Angsty slashy goodness with suggestive themes :


**AN: This is a fic I'm making up on the spot, set sometime after Legion, so here goes! The italics are flashback, and they'll be in the third person. Inspired by 'Stop' written by Feline Ranger. Enjoy!**

Why, Rimmer? Just tell me why.

Tell me why you sit there acting so innocent.

It makes me mad that you think you can just toy with me, like I mean nothing. Because that's sure as hell not how it looked a few days ago. Were you faking those desperate moans and gasps that fell from your lips as I screwed you senseless? I don't think you were. I bet if I asked you that question, you'd laugh it off as if I was crazy to even consider it. But now, right at this moment, you're just _there_. Kryten and the Cat are nowhere to be seen, yet you're pretending for all you're worth as if we're still the same people we used to be. Two people who hated each other with a passion.

We're not, Rimmer. We've changed. Both of us. And I bet you remember as well as I do how it started. You were yelling at me in the sleeping quarters...

_*flashback*_

"_David Lister, you are the smeggiest of all the smegheads I've ever met! You annoy me to kingdom come and then think you can just get away with it! Not this time miladdo. I'm moving out. I'm going to have a room to myself. I can now I've got my hard-light drive. I don't have to rely on you to do things for me anymore." Rimmer sneered, heading for the door._

"_Rimmer, ya can't leave! You're supposed to be keeping me sane!" Lister said, stepping in his way._

"_Can't I? Just watch me, Listy." Rimmer took a step forwards, and was shocked to feel Lister's lips against his, kissing him roughly. He moaned loudly, slipping his tongue in Lister's mouth. Rimmer pressed Lister against the door, feeling himself growing hard..._

_*end flashback*_

So, one thing led to another that evening, and I was so happy I'd finally got you. But the next morning, I found myself alone in the bunk. You'd gone, and I didn't know where. I was getting a bit worried, but then you walked in. I was waiting for something, _anything _about the night before, anything ranging from another kiss and a request for a repeat performance later, or saying it meant nothing and was an accident. Either would've been better than what you did, which was refuse to acknowledge that it even happened, and launch straight into a barrage of insults and digs.

I was devastated. I thought it had meant something to you as well as me. A few weeks passed, and still no mention. I was heading to the observation dome, because I'd heard you moving around up there, and all of a sudden you ambushed me, kissing me passionately and tearing at my clothes. Again I was joyful, again I thought this would be something more. But then, as we lay there on the floor afterwards, panting for breath, you just got up and left.

Not even a smegging backwards glance.

So many more times it's been just like that. The surprise attack, the furious kisses, the incredible sex, then the ignorance, the icy rejection and the harsh words.

I don't know how much more I can take. You're all I want, all I need, and yet you couldn't care less.

It's killing me inside, Rimmer. But you don't know, won't know. You refuse to get any deeper than just the physical flings.

So that's the reason I'm asking myself why.

Why do you push me away one minute, then pull me back again the next?

Why do you leave me alone and hurt?

Why do you break my heart?

"Why?"

"What did you say, Lister?"

I look up, startled like a rabbit caught in headlights. You're looking at me and frowning in confusion. Oops.

"Oh, n-nothing Rimmer." I stammer. You shrug, putting your book down. I know what's coming next, and I know I should stop you, but your lips crash against mine, and I lose all coherent thought.

I need this. I need _you_.

Or whatever I can get of you, at least.

**Quite angsty, but I hope you still liked it! Review please!**


End file.
